Thank God for the Lancet

A recently published Journal article in the prestigious London-based medical journal, the Lancet, condemns Pope Benedict XVI's assertions that the distribution of condoms "can... increase the problem of AIDS". In this blatantly bias and horribly unempathetic attempt to bolster the Catholic faith-quite Imperialistic in intent and orientation-the Pope is selfishly determined to place an unequivocal contortion on the AIDS epidemic in Africa, with the ultimate goal NOT of a utopian abstinent communal outlook, but of a "I told you so" condemnation when this unachievable ideal is not reached, and the problem manifests via a lack of concrete resources and education. It is DISGUSTING to me that a man in such a position of Western wealth and access, with so much obtuse and greatly undeserved influence, uses condemning language and warped ideology to preach to abstract realities, when he could-in theory-have the means to provide concrete, useable means of prevention to these populations at large.
This man is absolutely off his rocker in every sense of the word... thank GOD there are legitimate, educated forums of observation and perception such as the Lancet to augment such falicious assertions and point out, with the supreme authority of science and pure humanistic logic, how terrifyingly off this man's world view is. (In retrospect, perhaps one should thank the philosopher Jesus Christ, who would in all reality rolled in his grave at this gross misappropriation of his text in the modern era).

It's funny, how we distort our realms of normalcy to fit socio-economic gains and superficial values, whilst thinking we are furthering ourselves and our society.
Doing a paper on Facebook, and looking at what exactly the medium of communication does to our ideas of interpersonal relationships and social norms, draws upon some-many-interesting points. Too many to be outlined at present: one of which, however, I thought of fleetingly, but I am choosing presently to record it if only because it is insubstantial enough in the grand scheme of my thoughts on the subject, that I'd rather have it concretely outlined in text, to return to later.
Often I make the distinction, well 'we' make the distinction I suppose, between knowing and feeling, or learning and experience. For instance, I was initially amazed at the power and wonder of venturing to historic sights in Italy, which had instantaniously a much grander impact on my psyche and learning then all the textbooks and history courses I'd taken could enlighten me to. It was as though being present in such an environment of history and spiritual value awakened something in the soul that facts and figures cannot hope to achieve.
I relate this to Facebook truly: the communication and interpersonal relations inherent to the medium speak to community and collective mentalities; it promotes a 'classless' society and ease of communication. However, Facebook is non-physical, and un-emotional in its encounters. It does not feel, nor does it emote its inner desires and pains: it does not smile, it does not emit warmth. The dialogue and community of Facebook is hard and cold, and devoid-I see this as a major unfortunate, as I think it becomes a barrier to true relationships, and encourages an increasingly voyeuristic, superficial mentality. It is as though we are led to believe that this 'reading' of communication has some severence of reality to it-it poses as true, legitimate communication. But one only has to speak to another, to engage in frequency and vigor with another being, to connect at length, to understand and feel the difference. WHY must we be involved in each other 24-7? WHY can't we be content in our own company, only to see and appreciate our peers in their physical, emotional presence at infrequent intervals? When did we become so socially dependent? I see facebook as being an unintelligent removal of social function, decreasing our humanity and making us shallow and inherently self-absorbed and self-conscious. Facebook, truly, makes me sad.
The real and the non-real: perhaps there is no distinction anymore. It is bizarre that one can exist in the physical sense, yet not exist online. Where does the ghost reside, truly?

Foreshadowed in the movement of one thousand souls crashing down toward a bitter reincarnation
The body, feeble and frail and prone to movement, wretches itself forth and extends in exhausted agony
reaching, forever reaching toward some kind of physical solace
desire and satisfaction mark its exterior, raize the vessel to total visual distraction
render the character useless, personify the mind to the unknowing eye
seeking its own destruction, breeding cycles of sickness and absurdity, insomnia and reckless dishonor
preparing the self for eternal life
cataclysmic anhiliation, the sun will not rise tomorrow unless this ceases to begin to-day

This cannot continue. This negativity, this ruin of self every time EVERY TIME I go out and drink, every time I ignore someone I know by name, every time I avoid someone because I am anxious of time wasted speaking to them, that I might falter or be boring... when did I deem myself unworthy? When did I assume I am a drain to speak to; that I have nothing to contribute? WHEN did I evolve to HATE MYSELF?
I must. Stop. This. Train of thought. I MUST. Kate... please stop hating yourself. I can't believe this is me. I can't believe this is me.
This isn't me.

Just a quick note on humanity...

Just this morning I read in Al Jazeera that the insurance company AIG is dolling out 'contractual' bonuses-with their 170 billion dollar bailout funds-to their executives, with promise of a scale down such bonuses in future. Given the company has suffered 61.7 billion dollars in losses in the fourth quarter alone last year, this speaks to me of many issues we must address as a functioning society.
First: where are the moral groundings of these men and women? Perhaps I am naive, but I am assuming that any individual absorbing a portion of such an immense, superfluous amount of money as a 'bonus' is not to be considered in dire straights financially at present, and given the nature of the job itself this is typically, and unfortunately, a given. How can one accept such irrationally-distributed amounts of TAXPAYERS money, when families have lost their houses, their possessions, their ability to feed their families without worry, ect? Do these people lack empathy? It's a sad, scary state of affairs, this.
Secondly, the company cites 'contractual agreements' as the necessity to pay up. Since when does a piece of paper, a contract signed in different social timeframes with different financial outlooks, trump a state of urgent reality? Unfortunately, contracts are stagnant and do not consider conflicting realities: they exist in history and are constrained as such. In the worst financial crisis seen in decades, should it not be taken into consideration that perhaps these so-called 'advisers' don't need another yacht? How can they justify the bonus when many who perhaps advised have done so failingly, as the economy as a whole has seen massive losses... this hypocrisy is just inexcusable. It's to bad if anything, that we can't monitor where, precisely, this bonus money goes after it has been distributed: after all, there are a lot of newly-foreclosed houses up for grabs.
It is disgusting to me how scared we are as a society of shifting the tides of 'rational democratic conduct' when life intervenes. It's a bit of a double-edged sword, I realise, as social contracts are typically valid and a means of ensuring some degree of security within certain frameworks. But shouldn't we have a social contract that deems human decency, human necessity, and dire circumstance could postpone such unnecessary acts? If such a contract could be presently modified so that society as a whole benefits from it, rather then a select few-hmm, sounds familiar-shouldn't it be our duty as human beings, one in the SAME human beings, to do so?
This is perhaps a mute point: we allow deeply disturbed leaders to commit mass genocide without so much as shaking a finger. We keep our allegiances with those who can financially benefit us, and ignore the problems of those who cannot. We leave our low-income and our homeless out to fend for themselves, whilst giving AIG Executives bonuses drawn from a 170 million dollar bailout.
It is sad how emotionally depraved some people are. I hope these executives fail to sleep at night, knowing a mere fraction of their bonus could have benefited entire families in their own country.

A world of unholy matrimony
unions spawned in despair and insecurity
thinking they're truth, when only lies barren souls
envelope and seal reality of failed ambition
tainted aspiration, underdeveloped dreams
discussed like juvenile babble over three hour meal preparations
passing time, quelling boredom
until red plumes of turbid daylight
seethe up from the exhausted mortuary
like seas on the brink of some kind of destruction,
waking the deadened souls of the eyeless masses
to rot their lives away
in insignificant gestures, false celebration,
remorseless ignorance
death, life, all wrapped up in strangling bravado
disgraceful mediators of purgatory
display your wares, make yourselves comfortable
life is long and your souls are weary,
heaven is a dream for those unwilling to engage
heaven is a dream for a life of bliss, perhaps

Like creating a clay pot, or any other artistic endeavor, we skillfully and intentionally hone and craft our daily lives toward a stronger, whole, finished intent: wisdom, enlightenment, what have you.
If we embark on this process skillfully and methodically, ensuring we are doing our best to further the collective end, we will be satasfied and happy with the end result of our efforts.
If we embark on this process haphazzardly, and without effort or care-even in the most basic, situational areas of evocation-we will end up with something undesirable, unwhole, unsuitable. Instead of building upon the successes we have achieved, we will remain stagnant, forever held back fixing cracks and imbalences we instill in those few, discreet moments where we intentionally falter, and hinder our own progress. We breed our own mental and physical stagnation.
I wish to be successful in this lifetime: I will try to craft myself into something wonderful and beautiful, from this point forward.

This afternoon
I read poems by Pat Ingoldsby, to a woman he no longer had
His yearning, his sadness, his sadness oh
Gnawed at my core and made me feel ill
for they spoke too intimately to potentiality
for which I have invisioned
of myself

Monday Morning Musing

I asked the busdriver if he went to the station
He looked at me with casual aggrivation and remarked (in almighty imperiousness) "This is the 4, it doesn't go to the station"
As I stepped away from the wreckage I wondered where the hell HE gets off?