Reading Bukowski
Never read him before
or have I
Maybe it didn't resonate
in memory
because it wasn't important
then
life was important
then
meaningless gestures were
important
smiling, preening, outward movement
was important
then
so his words didn't scratch
their nails down
the chalkboard
like they have
today
as the sun
betrays
my mood
and i hope
to god
that someday
i am
strong enough,
selfish enough
to rid myself of
this